MUSINGS

 

MUSINGS

 

Speak dear soul open-hearted,

Elaborate on your owes and fear,

Express unspoken worries clearly,

Settled at the inner bottom died long hope,

Unbutton pouch of hope to sprout,

Have trust this world is miraculous,

Fallen hopes long enough to get alive,

Fulfill desires both aspirations met,

Fathomless depth of  sorrows deposited,

Writhing pain due to hurt or insult,

Once caused sorrows immeasurable,

Humiliated, digested life ungrudgingly,

Stitched lips promised to keep silent,

Honor scornful eyes smile docile,

Closed chamber of heart deposited,

Never allowed to unlock agonies,

Story drear soul will be long enough,

It can easily surpass lengths of life,

Speechless onlookers, cave widens,

Life event narrow caverns branching,

The dark tunnel of the past a spider net,

The mind will lose links to date and time,

Person met, place, those happened,

Stored in the  human heart, please search,

Less can be found out but certainly,

Time the culprit erases from memory,

Helps life to smile to gain courage,

The heart strength to live stronger, sing,

Flee and forget the past ghost fades,

Normal heart fights this way greets,

Greets fresh air, water, nature, hail,

Mingle soul, the heart merges in greens,

Cary dark chambers life weathered,

Never let out poisonous thoughts,

Chose to recluse heart opens up,

Exhaust bottomed up baggage free,

Animals n birds listen to a sad song,

Cry out sadly creepers dews on grass,

Sleep dear soul on meadows,

Look up the blue sky, white clouds,

Acting innocent white crane clusters,

Smiling once these clouds noisy,

Dark in anger, roaring but emptied,

Follow neatly, white clouds, thoughts,

Musings utter loudly resounded,

Resound hill distant reaching you,

Laugh heartily, your voice gets  light,

Heavy baggage narrated unload,

Light-hearted find the magic wand,

Upon the hilltop, looking down the valley,

Wrinkled face gets bright imagine,

Heart of eagle swoops down quickly,

Kills problems of human life prey,

Delete musings smelling lament,

Deletes your owes and fear detailed,

Discover spark of life cavern illuminated,

The heart is the cave, loot treasures,

Find happiness, peace, sleep well,

A heart rejuvenated,  invigorated mind,

Love, care enough in serving the sick,

Feed the  hungry, offer destitute shelter,

Passions colored with fragrance,

The heart becomes lighter, soaring high,

Boundless joys service for children,

Agile now the life active, positive,

Fully charged preach metamorphoses,

Transform musings unparalleled.

 

@ Bijayananda Mishra

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

MALAISE

 

MALAISE

 

Deeply immersed in thought in love,

Son plays with a toy home nicely,

Three storied house furniture a lot,

Staircase rises to the rooftop high,

Ground floor office room for me,

Drawing room, kitchen, dining,

Arranged on the first floor neatly,

Second floor, study, and bedroom,

A small library at the corner n table,

On the roof a small room for washing,

Wire to keep wet clothes for drying,

Ground floor garage at one side,

Astonished, he was so meticulous,

Queried, where will be brothers,

Where is room for your sister?

A guest room is needed for visitors,

He impressed me, elaborated in detail,

A solar panel for the house is required,

I shall build everything for us,

Brothers will build houses for them,

Dad n mom is in a bedroom near mine,

An antenna will be fitted for television,

A computer mobile at my table,

Planning everything, serially listed,

In fifth grade, surprised  by his thoughts,

His mom was astonished n speechless,

Siblings listened to all explanations,

Broke the toy home dismantled,

A fight started, his sister was angry,

Did not talk to her brother, the story,

The drawing room, on carpets, evening,

A scene happened only children's game,

Surprisingly, true it happened, I knew,

In the village, a huge mansion was built,

Grandpa was the landlord, constructed this,

Palatial-mansion three storied,

Garage car at that old times big,

Central hall large one on ground-floor,

Kitchen room, dining hall near,

Two floors of bedrooms, a big balcony,

The tin shed quarters for servants,

 The backyard  and front ground till gate,

The field was big, and well, cowshed visible,

It was designed by a famous architect,

The demise of  my grandfather started tragedy,

My father, uncle, his sister  quarreled,

Staying in the city, all demanded money,

Father inherited as the eldest son,

Fight in the court lasted for decades,

The village home was empty, breaking,

Once visited, noticed fallen roofs,

Walls were cracking, sprouting trees,

Creepers covered the windows,

Wooden doors  and furniture stolen,

Cowshed, servant houses were empty,

Broken boundary wall cows grazing,

That evening I was watching my son,

My dad and uncles are no more, I realized,

Disbelieve innocent children, act the same,

 An evening with a tea cup stormed malaise,

Deeper was emotions, the blood breaks.

 

@ Bijayananda Mishra

 

 

 

 

 

IDOLIZED

 

IDOLIZED

  

Spring festival evokes time visible,

Corona diminished a relief to the heart,

Flood played havoc, disappeared,

Unseasonal rains threaten, pouring,

Inundates, ripen grain fields a  worry,

Overall mirth present season thrilled,

Earth wears colorful blossoms canopy,

Valley, meadows showing happiness,

Wildflowers in profusions fragrant,

Fields gray, painted by now deep green,

Velvety carpet moist early morning,

Shining glory dews glisten in the sunlight,

Hints fragrant early morning auspicious,

Colored earthen idol decorated scented,

The last touch of brush with paint trying,

Giving life to Mother's eye looking intense,

Humanity believed her Goddess supreme,

Mother nature symbolizes her presence,

Mother earth produces bountiful food,

Corns, grain, millet season witness,

Food for humans for the year is essential,

People worship her, their gratitude deeply,

Pity mother, you offer in ten hands,

A human can receive with two hands, prays,

Wants health, happiness, prosperity,

Begs security, peace in all houses,

Festive occasion noisy at every home,

Burning oil lamps, scented sticks,

An offering of food, fruits many neatly,

Hymns with devotions, prayer, prostrate,

Children, females, youth, and old alike sit,

Creates aspiration infinite before mother,

Nine days of sacred worship earnestly,

Crowded Goddess temple lighted,

A thousand lamps are burning bright,

Mother killed a demon, beast cruel,

Symbol, her child turns into a beast,

Powerful with lust, Mother killed him,

Switched my thought to my nature,

Mother watches in the heart of human,

She is the soul, life born in her womb,

Compared to universal motherhood same,

She is the human character, kills lust,

Trident, the self-discipline, destroys evil,

Third eyes on her forehead, knowledge,

Bestowed to each human as her child,

Wisdom, within every soul, illumines,

Symbolizes as lightening  white,

Dispels darkness means ignorance,

Her grace humans become realized,

Conquers death,  the deathless soul exists,

Least fearful of death, of mortal frame,

No more attachment, importance to a face,

Name, status, address, relation little,

Discovers realized soul mother nature,

She is present in trees, animals, birds,

Present in wind, water, soil, fire, space,

Each sustains life in subtle nourishing,

Worshipping nature preserves essential,

Idolize hill, river, valley, forest, reality,

Preserve mother nature for existence,

Idolize own mother, motherland,

Pay respect to  the womb of  the mother,

Nine months stay, nine days of  worship,

Nine days is human life, graces land,

Her air, water, earth, fire, and energy provided

Mortal frames merge with soil, idolized.

 

Pen: Bijayananda Mishra

EMPTINESS

 

EMPTINESS

 

Nostalgic feeling at the beach,

In front of  blue sea waves in foam,

White foams spreading wet sand,

Returns water back to sea again,

Childhood to twilight years a span,

Never could count waves approach,

Dry sand bed golden extends long,

Preferred the isolated place squatted,

Looked at the horizon, blue sky merging,

As if mortal limbs my mind matching,

Sand beach long never could measure,

Little can say, how much walked,

Life behind traveled on earth saw,

Lives matching oceanic creatures,

Innumerable spirits, different shapes,

Countless behaviors failed to observe,

Found fearful like shark hunting,

Killing weaker lives stalks gaily,

Whale gigantic size fearless moves,

Wealthy n powerful, people replicate,

Attached colony of fish to a whale,

Life of laborers attached to the rich,

Watched countries, size differ well,

Colonies of marine creatures vary,

Confects  underneath water surface,

Invisible dimensions world creates,

Shied life passed, was thinking  here,

Consciousness the beach aroused,

Phenomenon complex intricate in fact,

Entwined spider net life manifest,

Closed eyes felt a gentle breeze blowing,

Whispering if  the secrecy of life created,

Born on earth must die, certain,

Wiped-out civilizations reappeared,

Countless cycles of manifestations,

I was smiling at the waves rising,

At zenith, haughty,  fang of a snake,

Disappear ferocity of approaching,

Etched on the beach, I love my life,

Sea erased my writing on sands  soon,

Sat quietly thought again,

How many friends have departed,

Thank Lord, still am breathing well,

 A seed planted on soil grew bigger,

Foliaged long back had fruit nicely,

Fulfilled propagation so as me,

Laughed with wind salty soaking,

Wet limbs remembered youth,

Like shivering leaves murmuring,

Started singing, humming tuneless,

Life was how similar to my song,

Saturated with fragrance smelling,

Foul smell life had spread behavior,

Like thorns in rose-plant  hurt many,

Mere a word my tongue spelled havoc,

Ruined heart of honey bee unnoticed,

Mesmerized in  the setting sun orange,

Return home whole day passed alone,

The sun bright sank, darkness spread,

Cool shade my life provided to many,

Incessant roaring waves were indistinct,

Eventful busy was my life felt silent,

Who was following me, I did not know,

Saw Cane grass was singing for her,

Invisible mother has arrived in spring,

Earth invites her in a bridal dress,

Spring visited my life and greeted her,

Felt an emptiness in me, surprised,

Emptiness merged with her presence.

 

@ Bijayananda Mishra

JAGGERY

 

JAGGERY

 

 

It was my childhood wildness,

Uncontrolled mind in mischief,

Slipped out of the home play at fields,

A group of boys ran for sugar cane,

Long stems leafy fields near village,

Beneath a cauldron, firewood burning,

Juices of sugarcane boiling hot,

Brown thick liquids decanted into a pot,

Iron flatbed pot getting full condensed,

Peasants were preparing molasses,

Pour into flat-bottom iron pots in rows,

Jaggery prepared from molasses solid,

Beg for small pieces return home,

Farmers smiling offer us handfuls,

Remember I share with my sister,

She was the eldest child of our parents,

Ten years older than me, loving,

I was in school, she attended college,

Our friendship was closest, bond sweet,

I was loving and obeyed her only,

Hoodwinked mom, feared dad,

Sister was my home teacher best,

Taught my homework on the table,

I shared jaggery pieces she stored,

Answered correctly, jaggery piece, bonus,

My good result was due to her effort,

She washed my clothes, ironed,

Polished my boots every day,

Combed my hair notebook in my bag,

In order arranged with book n pen,

Pencil pointed, rubber, geometry box,

I passed first division in school,

Sister gave me a jaggery piece saved,

Parents never could know our secret,

I joined the  college, walked together,

Sister was helping mom with cooking,

Washing dad's dress was ironing,

She was keeping house expenses,

With dad marketed for vegetables,

Purchased monthly groceries, listing,

Less knew she was managing our home,

Apple eyes of Dad, mom depending,

She was pivotal in our life, caring,

Her immaculate attention to all,

Served Dad when sick his medicine,

She was our doctor, nurse, watchful,

Consult with a doctor to buy medicine,

Parents handed over responsibility,

Bed news one day I heard, surprised,

Sister was crying silently alone,

Astonished, never saw her crying,

I hugged her tightly and enquired,

I sobbed, and she closed my mouth,

Confided with me she  was marrying,

 The parent fixed her marriage date,

Without consulting her chosen bridegroom,

An engineer abroad dad finalized,

She cherished the day, her degree,

Expecting gold medal best graduate,

Her dream was to be an administrator,

Decades after we both kept our bond,

Secret her agony cherished dream,

I fulfilled her wish, became one,

From overseas got a packet of jaggery,

A daughter for dad kept him happy.

 

@ Bijayananda Mishra

 

 

RELINQUISH

 

RELINQUISH

 

Telling you dear daughter stories,

Sought grace of Lord as the father,

Only one in life I dreamed acutely,

Chamber innermost of heart locked,

Reverently begged  the stone idol,

Never asked for a good result, career,

Little asked for luxury, wealth, home,

Believed it all came in life in time,

One by one, after marriage, arranged,

A job in metros, house, rest happened,

Everything as a couple felt dreamy,

Materialized in due course by effort,

Savings magic wand checked instinct,

Festive seasons lighted shopping malls,

Our passions checked,  dearest child,

Looked hungrily at  cosmetic goods,

Dress, utensils, gadgets, ornament,

Gold jewelry, mother's intentions,

Saved tours in vacation, tourist places,

Disbelieved our savings crossed million,

Husband n wife laughed a lot, what to do,

Answered my wife for children, I pinched,

How many, dear, you wish in the womb,

Her answer was a son, found I silent,

She ran after me; I never told her,

A hidden desire for a daughter, my secret,

Less believed God provides but prayed,

Son and daughter were both fulfilled,

You arrived first,  your brother next,

Your talent was visible in the school,

Silent, sober, decent demeanor loving,

Beautiful a flower blossomed in time,

Dignified personality after university,

A friend closest in my life, you confided,

Marriage inter-caste, you confessed,

confided secretly, your marriage to me,

Mother knew, objected vehemently,

For weeks tried my best to console,

She was crying inconsolably, hurt,

Her generation-old custom pricked,

Marriage to be within Brahmin families

I left her sobbing till she emptied all,

All her anguishes spent fuel in tears,

Swollen eyes, silent utterly, I evaded,

I feared first in life, never saw agony,

She opened suitcases of silk saree,

Rare prints, costliest, eye-catching,

Purchased for you for wedding,

Showed me gold necklaces, earrings,

Gold bangles, bracelets with gems,

Ring for you with jewel dazzling,

No more she was crying,  she smiled,

Socked, disbelieved looks sparkling,

I know, dear husband, you love her,

Still, your breath is your daughter,

I used all our savings for gifts, marriage

Precious heart is your daughter, I know,

I wished to please you, bought for her,

These are bridal dresses for  my daughter,

I spent lifelong savings, no hesitation,

Relinquish all mother's responsibilities,

To conduct her marriage  is not needed,

Present to her these gifts from us.

 

@ Bijayananda Mishra