SELF DOUBT
Sober
this heart, quiet thinking,
Watches
floating thoughts in mind,
Where
is its source, where is it moving,
Endless
surprises soul thirsty often,
Wants
innumerable goods to please,
Pleasure
evaporates, vaporizes instantly,
Search
again mind fantasy thought to create,
Sit
still, unmoved, looking vacantly, a lot,
Forgets
where am I? why is sitting here,
Dream
castles already build, I travel.
Visible
to me beautiful house in front,
Colored
glasses, windows closed,
Knocks
the front door rings loudly,
Push
a bit, found the door open sliding,
Astonished
at the carpet sofa furniture,
No
one is seen in the room empty, decorated,
Wooden
frames wall mounted paintings,
As
if images living, looking at me,
Enters
long corridors with hundreds of rooms,
Windows
with frosted glass in front,
Speechless
found someone behind standing,
A
person of my height faintly seen,
Disappearing,
then the visible body,
Sometimes
obscure face or palms, fingers,
Misty
eyes, translucent nose touching glass,
Disappear
suddenly curious my heart,
Who
is living in this room enters quickly,
No
one is there, the room vacant,
Look
through the frosted glass image same,
Inside
myself but the image from the balcony,
Run
out of the room alarmed in a sock,
Empty
is the long corridor hunting a time,
The
big house, no one could be found, returned,
Melted
the daydream, lingered the sight,
Who
was he behind the frosted glass,
It
was making fun of me, hide and seek,
Opened
my heart walked and walked,
Tired
limbs thoughtless rest under a tree,
Suddenly
found life unsure of myself,
Unconvinced
in every aspect of duty,
Hunting
fear lurks behind obscurity,
Terrorizing
all the while mind inkling ideas,
Failure
sure to fail after effort, hard work,
I
questioned, directed to me, bluntly scornful,
How
come? deduced the outcome, just started,
Predicting
the result as failure idiocy,
Where
has gone my courage and conviction,
Love
my dear girlfriend, fear losing caution?
Before
approaching her feeling unreal,
She
is lost for me, rejected my hand,
Trembles
my nerves losing the adorn,
She
is very much mine uniting with me,
So
assuring her voice, she talks of the future,
We
are to build a sweet home but less luster,
Our
study, career, job, notoriety mind,
Playing
with me, treacherous tactics,
Confirmed
by now this one was playing,
Blurred
image of mine, mind projected,
Found
convenient a frosted glass,
Easy
to vanish and appear weird,
The
solitude under a tree amidst nature,
Aroused
conscience hinted at self-doubt,
Exposed
fled that day I could recognize,
From
miles away approaching my red eyes,
No
more your slave run from my heart,
Confide
friends from that day become smart.
Pen: Bijayananda Mishra
Title of Poem: Self Doubt
Themes: The mind lacks focus, unsure
Date: 12th January 2023, Cuttack
@ Copywrite
